Losing Someone Close To You

At some point or another, we all experience the vaporization of something we believed would forever remain solid; the disintegration of something we love. How can mere words capture such a feeling?

There are a few times I've experienced the intensity of loss. Loss of not only people, but beliefs, ideas, and dreams. They left me with dull aches in the deepest crevices of my heart. Aches that sharpened and soothed at unpredictable rates. At times, the aches were paralyzing.

While loss causes a great deal of grief and anxiety, it fosters growth, reflection, and evolution in ways that we may have never deemed possible. It teaches us to embrace the universal law of impermanence, a law we must all inevitably face at some point.

Aside from evolving in new ways, loss has taught me a few important lessons.

Upon losing someone or something we love, we automatically think that we'll never find someone/something that'll ever be the same. This is very true: we won't. However, we can rest assured knowing that each relationship; each experience in life is unique--like sunrises, fingerprints, or snowflakes. It may not be the same, but it doesn't mean it isn't equally or more beautiful. With each relationship and experience comes unique flaws, strengths, and memories. Instead of comparing, contrasting, and trying to live up to past experiences; we can welcome new experiences with an open, accepting mind. All that comes must go. Yet, if our capacity to be open minded and compassionate remains steadfast, we'll be able to savor experiences for what they are.

Loss has also taught me that everything I long to be begins and ends with me. Have you ever found yourself saying, "He/she/it brings out the absolute best in me"? While we're naturally drawn to certain people and environments, we have the capacity to be our very best in any situation. We don't need to seek external sources for something that lies within. All people and situations shed a slightly different light on unique dimensions of ourselves. Once we find a dimension of ourselves that we love, we can live it--regardless of the environment.

Loss is only part life's inevitable cycles. Sometimes we lose things faster than we anticipate or desire, but we can extract the memories, lessons, and positive aspects of each person; each situation.

Each snowflake is different, yes, but they all have distinct beauties to experience.